A Martyr by Any other Name is still Self-Righteous

As I have depicted many times before in my blog entries, there are soooo many characters one must familiarize themselves with in the DC metro area. Be careful who you let get close to you, as not everyone deserves to be in your presence. As Kanyvil so eloquently said, (Kanye West~ translation for my tighter laced folks :-) ) “My presence is a present kiss my ass.”…lol…but you get the point? The general ideology is that if someone is going to stand next to you, let them be well equipped to do so. You know that saying birds of a feather flock together? I just can’t fully endorse it. Where the cliché saying may be true in some regards, in other situations it could not be farther from.

Case Study: Today I wanted to highlight the Martyr. A Martyr is a person who is put to death or endures great suffering on behalf of any belief, principle, or cause; Or a person who seeks sympathy or attention by feigning or exaggerating pain, deprivation, ect. Do you know any Martyrs? ::: Warning ::: I’m about to get real philosophical for a second, stay with me! I wanted to raise remonstrate on the way we see a Martyrs in the 20-10s.

Analysis: I grew up like most of you thinking being called a Martyr was kind of a noble thing, more of the first definition, from what I had learned in school. However, while socializing in the D.C. I am meeting characters who too fit the definition of a Martyr, see provided above (more the second definition), but their “cause” does not seem so noble. Dare I say that A Martyr by Any Other Name is still Self-Righteous? I kind of feel that some people make their opinion, needs, wants, and desires…hopes, dreams, and wishes more important than other peoples’. So when put in social situations they almost take a stance of an elitist, looking down on your feelings, thoughts, and decisions. The question is why? I understand the need for confidence in the direction they have chosen to take their lives in, but then why do they constantly seem in competition with others around them?

William Shakespeare said in Romeo and Juliet that a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. Meaning that the names of thins do not matter, only what things are. With our Neo-Martyrs this concept cannot really be applied. Why would they hold themselves so high up on their imaginary pedestals and yet compare themselves to those below them? They defy the Law of Identity, which states that an object is the same as itself. They embrace the Principle of Contradiction, rather than Aristotle’s Law of Non-Contradiction. Where one should not be able to say of something that it is and that it is not in the same respect and at the same time. They Live in the Law of the Excluded Middle. Meditating their thoughts on “cause” worthy ambiguous claims against themselves. Or forming Non-Webster dictionary meanings for words, that they will use to strengthen the piercing sound of their battle cry for their self-righteous “cause”.

Martyrs of today, have a false dichotomy personality. They cannot separate their life experience(s) and or viewpoints from others, but yet and still compare themselves to their “oppressors.” They worship a logically false misguided truth. These Neo-Martyrs are fatally insecure and cannot be trusted with your prize possessions, like your feelings or even your personality. It is my recommendation to keep them at a safe distance.

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
Author Unknown

Underneath the Guise of Smile

In the cinema of my thoughts there is a movie playing about a tragic story of a girl. I think her name is Camouflage, she always walks around as happy as can be. She beams like rays of light..illuminating all that she comes across. To each person she gives a little candle for them to take as they continue on without her, so even when her light is gone then may still be able to see. This tragic girl goes through life loving, building, and reconstructing projects that she comes across. She's an engineer by trade. Every once in a while she has more projects than she can fit into her Joy to the World planner. She gets tired, but she smiles with bags under her eyes and moves forward. At the end of the day she is finally ready to rest. She sits down to eat, but no one has left any food for her.  She sees it as a mere oversight. She decides to go watch TV and then dumbfoundly looks at an empty space on the wall. “Damn the TV is gone!” She forgot she left it at a project she was working on. O well she thinks I guess I’ll just read…However, no one returned her books, ”I guess they’ll bring them back later” , she says. Finally she decides to sleep, that’s the one thing she can count on. As she prepares herself for bed she takes off her positive thinking cap, then she removes her bad day proof smiletastic 2011, and finally she changes out of her confident suit. There sitting on the bed she catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She surprises herself, she had forgotten what she looked like without her disguise. She goes to bed weeping for the emptiness she feels inside. It hurts in a familiar way, because she goes through this every night. This is the time when she is alone and all her stuff is gone and unlike everyone else she can’t see her own light. There's only darkness around. Right before she drifts asleep the shadow of her positive thinking cap pokes her in the eye. She looks at her bad day proof smiletastic 2011 and thinks "Let me just go to sleep, I have a lot of work to do tomorrow." All of which she does underneath the guise of smile, while she gradually dies inside. The movie makes me sad for Camouflage, I don't like the ending.

For Colored Girls...

When I saw this movie I did not recognize the reflection. It exposed the reality of what being a black woman really looks like, oppose to societies' funny mirror image of what the experience should be. The movie betrayed us, telling the audience our biggest secret. Rumors about how badly we want to be loved, but are rarely given the opportunity to experience it. We love on purpose and leave ourselves open on purpose.  

As black women we become friends with insecurity in early childhood. Insecurity tells us what we should expect from the world. Insecurity teaches us how to wear our disabilities of being black and a woman. Insecurity does not waste time telling us fairy tales, because they do not apply to us. Where is our knight in shining armor? Where is our happy ending? Do little colored girls get read "once upon a time" stories too, or is that just for Sondra, Denise, Vanessa, and Rudy Huxtable?

My love is too protected to really let anyone in. Don't let people continue to walk away with your spirit. The perpetual myth of what a black woman is, and the propaganda of what she should look like. How she will wage war on anything in her sight. She will definitely have an attitude, she must have a neck roll, and she will probably flare quickly or have a temper.

We top all statistics being most likely to have stomach cancer, diabetes, obesity, high blood pressure, to have HIV, and our babies are most likely to suffer from low birth weight or even infant mortality. Where are the statistics stating what we are more likely to excel at due to our complexion?

Why are we feed the shattered glass pie? We are expected to be strong women. Only positively known for being optimal nurtures, cooks, and strong matriarchs of our families. Yet and still the world does not know...we are much more. I think the key is to first recognize what the world wants us to believe about ourselves and not be offended by it. Take pride in showing all who we really are. We should not be scared to be vulnerable. Fear is what allows us to lean on our negative stereotype. F@#! society and the role they want us to play...do it only like you can and reshape the way the world sees you. Not for them, but for yourself, because that is where our generational healing will really begin.

February: A Designer you should know...

The Addison Story (TAS) is an up and coming line for the young woman whose style is Romantic, Minimal, and Street. It is quite diverse and offers pieces that represent the culture of the East Village, NYC neighborhood the designer is from. The Addison Story is the brain child of Parson's Graduate Amy Hsiung. This design house speaks to me as a person who literally decides what I'm going to wear when I get to that part of my morning regimen. With key pieces from this line you are afforded the wardrobe to showcase your versatile self! The full company website will be available by the end of the month. TAS is currently sold at Neiman Marcus. If you spot it anywhere else it me know!! Warning fashion below!!

Cotton Candy Surprise!!!

"So yea he's kinda cute, I'm feeling him.....I think I will give him my number. Maybe we can get together Saturday night." This is the thought process when you lay eyes on a handsome young twenty something in the D dot C (D.C.). The week goes on; you catch yourself fantasizing about him a few times. Wondering things like.....was that a bulge in his pants or just a poor tailoring job? What was he drinking again....Hennessey, I think it was on the rocks!!...he must be a really bad boy wrapped up nicely in a gentlemen’s bow. You of course being a woman, flirt with the idea of that first date leading to a relationship and the passionate kisses in the embraces you two will share. And then you get a text??!! ...What are you doing Saturday?..lol...Its him, Hennessey! You reply, Nothing, I guess I'm hanging out with you. He sends back …LOL :-) The smiley face reminds you of a Trey Songz's song LOL smiley face...is he a freak? After all the speculating you all go out and have drinks and dinner Saturday night. He's perfect!! He's got a good job, nice car, all his damn teeth, and his own place. You found the diamond in the rough. So when he invites you to come up to his place to watch a movie you see absolutely no problem with this. He's like Hennessey...probably trying to get a little kiss or something. The movie is great, but he hasn't tried to kiss you? hmmm that’s weird, but oh well.  You tell him your heading home and then he goes in for the kiss...FINALLY…masturbating material!...it was nice....As you start to walk towards the door he asks you if your leaving something behind. You turn around and your immediately shaken by the shoulders with the emotions of fear and shock. You say "Is that your DICK? Are you?...OMG...?!!" and He responds “Yea girl, come get this Cotton Candy Surprise!!!!” You walk out...."GROSS!!!" Those damn D.C. men!

Things that make you say hmmm...

Hello SNTCC bloggers. Recently I have pondered a new quander. Do people ever really take a good look at themselves? I know as women we are used to meeting guys who try their hardest to muster up their confidence or fake us out with their swag turned on 2%. Even when they know we are WAY out of their league. Those men by default should not be included in this conversation. As they are fully aware they do not meet the qualifications for the position, but they still want to apply for the job. They don’t lie as much as they just aim high, and use the tools that they have been given. Flavor flav??!!

Case study: I am talking about those skillful liars who believe their own faulty stories. They are the really sick ones...let’s call them Pinocchio’s and Pinocchia’s...Mugshot: they seem to lie for no apparent reason at all; And then when they get caught, they all of a sudden get this dumbfounded look on their face, as to say “You didn’t believe my lie too?” When these people lie its clear they believe what they are saying, so does this mean they think others believe them too?

What is a liar’s motive? What are they trying to prove? Do they just want to be real boys and girls like ourselves? Or do their lies just relentlessly bully them and force their way out of little Pinocchia’s mouth?.All of us who shine genuinely through and through must learn how to use the liar to our advantage. Generally, if the liar is on that Pinoccho or Pinocchia level, their memory is probably not very good. One might even say their minds often play tricks on them? No, less do not try and navigate through their webs. Note them, and keep it moving. It is not necessary to burden your intelligence with stories from those whose brain did not reach full development. Instead make it a mental sparing match! Help them create their web and marvel in how messy their workmanship is. Then poke a whole…be careful, as pinocchio’s are generally very sensitive, but poke that damn hole!! And enjoy...watch as the studied liar tries to aggressively clean up their mess. You could even throw them a raft that you know is de-flatting, it really only makes the show better for you. I guess to be really good liars they can’t look at themselves, because then they might turn to stone. @ My genuines..just laugh, life is too short to allow those who are too insecure to live life slow you down while you delight in yours!